Can you say what you feel?
Oftentimes the more time we spend with a person the less we end up actually saying to them. In lockdown this is bound to be an issue in many relationships, as you share your space and in turn assume that you are also experiencing the space in the same way. This can cause tensions to arise and can have a detrimental effect on your sex life.
Along with the obvious need to discuss your experiences, it is also important to tell your partner what you love about them, that you want them, what you want to do to them, and what you want them to do to you Just like spending time in the same space can make us complacent, we can become lazy in our communicating with our partner.
Take some time to really think through what your partner means to you. Write them a letter or a poem. Yes ladies, men love to receive those acts of romance just as much as we do. If writing isn’t your thing, you can verbally express what you feel. The important thing is that you use WORDS, and don’t just assume that your partner knows how much they mean to you because of certain actions.
Knowing that you are treasured makes you far more willing to share your body with your partner in a meaningful way.
We have covered sexting in a previous post, but it is a great way to share the “what I want to do” thoughts that you have with your partner once they are feeling treasured and loved. It is also important for you to be able to communicate what you would like them to do to you. That can be a tricky one for many people, particularly women, who have often been raised to deny that they have any sexual wants at all. Encourage your female partner to tell you exactly what she wants, and understand that it may not come out in the smoothest way at first, but she will get there.
Ladies, men WANT to please you. Please, be brave and specific about what you want. What feels good, and what feels mind blowing. It is hard to interpret a groan in the moment, so being verbal is a big help to your male partner. If you aren’t feeling brave enough to speak about it, then write about it. It will be the only instruction manual that your man will happily agree to read! As you write you will probably also learn quite a few things about yourself as you think things through.
Go forth ladies and gentlemen. Write letters, poems, instruction manuals! Whatever you are doing, do it with words.